Hi
everyone. It seems that the same questions keep popping up
in the emails I receive, so in the interest of saving time,
I'll answer them here:
1. WHAT KIND OF GUITAR DO YOU PLAY?
I play the nimbus 3000. It’s made by SweetWizard Guitar
Company of London. It has great action, a beautiful body and
helped me win the All-Castle Quidditch Tournament last year!
Also a Gibson J-45.
2. WHEN ARE YOU RELEASING YOUR NEXT CD/DVD?
I will be releasing an album of Lionel Richie cover songs
in August 2008. So far I have recorded “Penny Lover,”
“Hello” and “Dancin’ on the Ceiling.”
I find that Nel and I share a love of lilting melodies and
insightful lyrics, which makes me the perfect guy to honor
“Sir Richie” with this tribute. Now if you’ll
excuse me, I have to go get my head modeled out of clay.
3. WHEN ARE YOU PLAYING (YOUR CITY HERE)?
My web site lists all my scheduled appearances to date.
4. CAN YOU PLAY AT MY COLLEGE?
Can I? Yes. Will I? I don 't know, it's not up to me. If you
want me to play at your school, contact your student activities
board (or whatever organization books acts on campus) and
tell them!
5. WILL YOU EVER PERFORM AT MY WEDDING / HOMECOMING DANCE
/ PROM?
Uh… no.
6. WHERE CAN I GET YOUR FIRST CD, "HALF A MAN?"
You probably can't. Only a thousand were pressed and those
sold out in a matter of days. OK, a couple of years. But don't
worry, it sucked anyway and all 5 songs were rerecorded for
"A Little Bit Special."
7. CAN I GET INTO YOUR CLUB SHOWS IF I'M UNDER 21 (OR 18)?
It all depends on the venue. The easiest way to find out is
to call the club itself. Or get a fake ID. The same goes with
College and University shows. Some are open to the public,
some aren't. If I have that information, I'll post it. Otherwise,
try contacting someone on the Student Activities Committee
at the school.
8. DO YOU REALLY ONLY HAVE ONE NUT?
No I have the standard two testicles. And I will be happy
to rest them on your chin.
9. HOW CAN I FIND YOUR SONG "DEAD PUPPIES" / "GAY
ESKIMO" / "DING, FRIES ARE DONE"?
Not my songs. Those were all penned by a fellow humorsician
named Ramadan N. Cornish. His albums are very rare and hard
to find, but if you look hard enough you might find one on
ebay. He unfortunately passed away in 1998 after choking on
a Lean Pocket.
10. CAN I BUY YOUR CDs/DVDs IN STORES?
Where do you live, Walnut Grove? Maybe Olson’s Mercantile
doesn’t carry my merchandise but they aren’t too
hard to find. You can purchase any of my masterpieces directly
from my record company’s site, WhatAreRecords.com.
Also, Amazon.com
and many major retailers like Barnes
and Noble, Walmart and Best
Buy. Don’t forget, I also sell cds, dvds and t-shirts
at my live shows.
11. DO YOU REALLY READ YOUR E-MAILS?
As my profession takes me on the road a lot, I don’t
often have time to respond to all my emails. There are weeks
when I receive tens of them, sometimes eleven or twelve! You
can see how this can be quite overwhelming. I do try to read
them all though, including myspace messages.
12 CAN I GET A COPY OF YOUR COMEDY CENTRAL SPECIAL?
If you have one of them new-fangled vcr machines, you can
tape it next time it’s on. I’ll be recording a
new special at the end of this year (2007).
13. DO YOU HAVE GUITAR TABS, CHORDS, OR SHEET MUSIC?
No. I am far too protective of my material to provide others
with tabs. Plus, I don’t know how to do it.
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